


how can you say (i go about things the wrong way)

by ivyalexandrias



Series: i know i can't handle anything without losing my mind [4]
Category: The Mechanisms (Band)
Genre: Gen, Nonbinary Lyfrassir Edda, Post-Story: Out (The Mechanisms), Reunions, ah fuck what else do i tag, no fleshrora rights today sorry lads, title from how soon is now by the smiths
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:28:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28385532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ivyalexandrias/pseuds/ivyalexandrias
Summary: “Listen, Ms. Rasputina-““Just Nastya, please.” She interjects, and they incline their head in acknowledgement.“Nastya. The others will be back soon. I won’t pretend to know your reasoning for leaving, or coming back, but…” They pause, absently biting their lip. “I have died countless times. I’ve been burned, and broken, and torn apart, to the point where I doubt there is a cell in my body that remains from before I became what I am now. Despite this, I am still myself, not because of anything physical, or even anything mental. No, I am myself because the others still view me as Lyf. Nothing more, nothing less. Their image of me is not affected by what has changed, but rather, by what has stayed the same, despite everything. Do you understand?”
Relationships: Lyfrassir Edda & Nastya Rasputina, The Aurora (The Mechanisms) & Lyfrassir Edda, The Aurora/Nastya Rasputina, some background lyf/raph/marius
Series: i know i can't handle anything without losing my mind [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2045947
Comments: 22
Kudos: 80





	how can you say (i go about things the wrong way)

**Author's Note:**

> i have no self control

Aurora, Nastya thinks, is in remarkably good shape. She’s not complaining, of course. Quite the opposite, really, she’s quite glad someone had been taking care of her love in her absence. No, she’s just confused as to _who_ , exactly, had been tending to her. It had already been proven years ago that Brian and Ivy, despite being able to host bits of Aurora’s consciousness in their own bodies, weren’t able to understand her well enough to care for her exact needs with the required level of precision.

As Nastya slips down the halls towards Aurora’s engine room, keeping to the spots she knows Aurora has less sensors in, meaning she’s less likely to be spotted before she’s ready, she thinks about it. Aurora could repair herself, to an extent, but she still needed some level of manual care and attention. So, either one of the crew had somehow learned to understand her, or… there was someone new. Another stray picked up from whatever disaster the rest of the crew had left in their wake, one that could somehow understand Aurora as well as she could.

Nastya wasn’t sure how to feel about that, if she was being honest. It was wonderful that Aurora wasn’t lonely, that she had someone to take care of her like she needed, but at the same time, he hated the feeling of being replaced. Of someone else knowing Aurora at the same personal, intimate level she did. (Logically, she knows there’s a _very_ low chance they’ll know Aurora _quite_ as well as she does, but still. It’s not a thought she wants to linger on for very long.)

As she nears the engine room, Aurora’s steady, idle hum suddenly grows ten times louder. One moment, Nastya is hovering near a wall, blinking in surprise at the sound, the next, she’s enveloped in an embrace made up of wires and cords. Aurora finds the port on her wrist almost immediately, forgoing words in favor of pouring what can only be described as pure _love_ through their connection.

Nastya gasps, the sudden flood of input almost too much after almost four centuries away, but Aurora must sense her discomfort, and carefully turns it down to a more manageable level. Nastya hums, leaning into a cable that brushes her cheek gently, seeming almost hesitant to touch her, as if she’ll disappear.

 _My love, is it truly you?_ Aurora hums, almost vibrating with her barely contained joy. The engineer nods, shifting as best she can in the near-cocoon Aurora had wrapped her in. As if realizing how overzealous she’d been, the ship releases her, though several wires remain, wrapped around her arms like snakes, not wanting to let go of her yet.

“Yes, my darling. I am here, I am real,” Aurora trills happily, and Nastya laughs at the fresh wave of affection that surges through their bond. “I’m so sorry for leaving you, love. I was impulsive, and frustrated.” The ship makes a low sound, similar to an octokitten’s purr, reluctantly releasing Nastya in order to allow her to continue towards the engine room.

 _I understand, my love. I will not pretend it did not hurt, or that I was not angry at you, but you’re here now!_ You’ve returned to me! Nastya smiles, trailing a hand along the wall as she walks, relishing the heat that curls beneath her fingertips, following behind her like a friendly cat.

“Yes, I am. I’m sorry it took so long, darling.” Nastya sighs as she enters the engine room for the first time in what feels like an eternity. For the most part, it remains unchanged. Her cot is still in the corner, blankets neatly made, and there are various star maps still plastered on the walls. As she looks, though, she can spot new things, scattered around the space. There’s an unfamiliar coat tossed haphazardly on her bed, wine red fabric contrasting against the deep grey of her blankets, and she can see a patch bearing the Aurora’s symbol neatly sewn onto the shoulder. The maps on the walls have sticky notes on them, though the language on them is not one she knows, words written in a cramped, but neat, handwriting. Next to the maps, she can also spot several photos, and she cocks her head, walking over.

The photos, as it turns out, are mostly candid shots, taken of an unsuspecting Marius as well as… someone else. They seem close enough, if the way the two of them are practically hanging off of each other in the photos is any indicator. Nastya notes that the other person is wearing the same deep red coat that sits on her bed, so it presumably belongs to them. Their hair is shock white, though it seems to have an opalescent quality to it, the shimmering colors apparent even in a still image. There’s a note scribbled on the last photo; in a handwriting she recognizes as Ivy’s.

you and marius looked like you were having a good time, so i took some pictures :) raph says not to leave her out next time. - ivy

That, unfortunately, doesn’t tell her anything about this mysterious new crewmate. Aurora hums, drawing her attention again, and she turns, glancing up at the ceiling. There’s not really any one place to look when talking to Aurora, but Nastya finds it easier to focus her eyes on a singular spot, so she usually selects the rafters.

 _That is Lyfrassir._ The ship chimes, and Nastya cocks her head.

 _In the photos! They are our newest crewmate, though they are not a Mechanism like the others. They are not mortal, either. In their words, they are “just Lyfrassir”._ Nastya nods slowly, replacing the photos where she’d taken them from.

“And this… Lyfrassir. Are they the one who has been preforming your repairs?” She asks cautiously, moving to study the notes placed haphazardly on the maps. As far as she can tell, they’re not even made using the latin alphabet, which makes it significantly harder for her to even begin to understand them.

“I am, yes. And you are?” Nastya jolts in surprise, turning to face the source of the voice. Near the doorway to the engine room, the same person from the photos watches her warily, hand drifting towards the knife at their hip. Aurora trills happily, lights shining brighter for a moment.

 _Lyf! You’re back early! Come, come. Meet Nastya_. That apparently gives them pause, and Nastya watches several different emotions flick over their face, before they seem to settle on wary surprise.

“Aurora, no offense but… there have been more ghosts recently. Are you sure she’s not… not just another one?” Nastya scoffs, rolling her eyes. In person, she can see that she was right about Lyf’s hair being multicolored. It shimmers almost entrancingly in the light, colors bouncing off of each other.

“I might technically be dead, but I am no ghost. No, I am very much real,” After a moment, something else hits her, and she blinks.

“Wait, you can understand her?” Lyf frowns, raising an eyebrow.

“Who, Aurora? Yes, I can understand her just fine. And, don’t ask how. I don’t know either, I just can. Probably some eldritch bullshit.” They sigh, leaning on the wall.

“Jonny uh- Jonny said you were gone. Threw yourself out the airlock.” Nastya winces at that, nodding.

“I did, yes. It was a foolish decision; one I regret dearly. Until I saw the flyer for tonight’s concert, I believed I would never get a chance to repair it.” They seem to study her for a long moment.

“’Rora?” They eventually prompt, and Nastya bristles slightly at the nickname, and the way Aurora seems to preen slightly at it.

 _What are you asking, Lyfrassir? If you are wondering if she’s telling the truth, I can assure you that she is. She would not lie about such a thing._ They nod at that, releasing the handle of their knife, instead striding across the room to hold out a hand.

“In that case; I’m Lyfrassir Edda. They/them, interim engineer.” Nastya blinks, startled, but accepts their hand, shaking it hesitantly.

“Nastya Rasputina, though I’m sure you already know that. Along with… most everything else about me, really.” They wince apologetically, nodding. They glance at the wall behind her, where the setting sun is visible, then back to her face.

“Listen, Ms. Rasputina-“

“Just Nastya, please.” She interjects, and they incline their head in acknowledgement.

“Nastya. The others will be back soon. I won’t pretend to know your reasoning for leaving, or coming back, but…” They pause, absently biting their lip. “I have died countless times. I’ve been burned, and broken, and torn apart, to the point where I doubt there is a cell in my body that remains from before I became what I am now. Despite this, I am still myself, not because of anything physical, or even anything mental. No, I am myself because the others still view me as Lyf. Nothing more, nothing less. Their image of me is not affected by what has changed, but rather, by what has stayed the same, despite everything. Do you understand?” Nastya stares at them for a long moment, processing their words.

“I- yes. Yes, I think I do.” They nod, smiling at her.

“If you choose to leave again, I will not stop you, and I will not tell the others.” Their voice is gentle. Nastya mulls it over for a moment, as if it was ever truly a choice. As if she could even fathom leaving Aurora again.

“I think I would like to know the person who has been tending to Aurora a bit better, before I think about entrusting her solely to their care again.” She says, and that’s all she gets out before Aurora is descending upon her again, fresh waves of adoration surging through their connection as the ship trills and purrs happily. Lyf laughs, watching from a safe distance.

“I think it’s safe to say Aurora is happy with your decision, then?” Nastya chuckles, allowing Aurora to twist her appendages lovingly around her limbs, tangling through her fingers, almost like they’re holding hands.

“Lyf!” Nastya jerks at that, Brian’s familiar voice ringing out towards her. “Where did you go? Marius was looking for you earlier! You made me and Raph deal with him.” Lyf glances over at her, then back towards where Marius’ voice is coming from.

“I made a friend!” They call back, and Nastya stifles the swell of anxiety in her chest, letting Aurora retract her cables back to where they came from, leaving her standing in the middle of the room, shifting nervously on her feet. Brian rounds the corner, moving to say something else, but he freezes when they lock eyes.

“Hi,” She breathes, and Brian’s eyes go wide.

“Hey.” He replies, voice trembling, and she steps forwards, spreading her arms slightly. Brian closes the distance in a matter of seconds, hugging her as tight as he can without breaking anything important.

“Welcome back.”

**Author's Note:**

> side note but im 90% sure that i literally Started the aurora & lyf friendship tag which is an achievement. now i just gotta do that w the wf fandom tag and my lifes mission will be complete
> 
> (im on tumblr @icanseethegiant!)


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